It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
