I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
