there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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