I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
