she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
