Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
