I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
