You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
