He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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