but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
