We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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