i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
