She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
