I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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