I heard we made out
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
