It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
