why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
