Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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