Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
