Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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