That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
