My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think my moral compass just broke
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
