I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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