bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have tasted many bathrooms
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
