now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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