after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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