So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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