I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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