why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
