Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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