I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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