I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
