Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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