Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
