I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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