in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
