Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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