I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
