Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She is in my trunk
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
