is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She even gives head with a lisp.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
