My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
