wanna go halves on a baby?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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