I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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