guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
