absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
