girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
