I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If I die, sorry about rent.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
