I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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