now i know why i became what i already was.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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