i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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