if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
