And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
