: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow