Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.