I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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