My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
