where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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