i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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