ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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