im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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