i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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