So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
